Thursday, November 17, 2011


Million hearts, several days , many times i fell in love. Often with you and sometimes with people i saw on the road, with things i ate, with clothes, with books , with colors.
Love is all we want , and Love is all we need - when we had everything else, we could never find it , never keep it , never hold on to it.

Two hearts, no love. Now i dont fall in love. There are days which pass and nothing holds me the way you sometimes did, things often did.The Age of Innocence is past and the world weighs me down with its changes and expectations.

You dont matter - and i dont matter. Things dont register and heartaches no longer smother me . I am all grown up and loved-out. I dont want to love again and i dont think its ever happening again. You dont want to love me again and I know I cant love you again.
It should be easy to love - but its not. Everyones grown up and in love and thought out and figuring steps three tiers ahead of my time. I am alone and lonely and content in my solitary existence behind you guys .

One heart - battered and broken but still beating , with the life giving force just for myself. Happiness is far fetched a concept to the little thing now but satisfaction is not. I am content with all of you loving others and not me and moving on and growing up and not eating much and looking pretty and hearing the 'right' bands and making money . I am here, holding on, turning back , trying to make words rhyme and make things not seem so dismal.And i know I'll be allright . For i am going away from your dreams and your words and your letters . I will live in my head , and my heart etchign every day with all that God gives me making me just fine.

And if things get bad - I'll call you , ill get angry and try yet again. But i wont give up , i wont back down and i wont run as fast as you .

"Dont you love her as she's walking out the door ?
like she did , one thousand times before ? " - THE DOORS