Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Wish Lists

I want you to love me like a dog loves his human -  a loyalty that minces no words, an adoration that generates a self-sustaining system of happiness. I also want you to love me as cats love their humans - you choose me, and in choosing to love me you validate me and  trap me forever in a system that is transient. I want you to love me like elephants love baby elephants - to see me as the holder of not just your heart, but your stories, your memories, your dreams and to view me as the hope of your being.
I want you to love me like whales love other whales- that even when worlds apart, you call out to me, knowing that I'm listening and your voice is important to save me from the all encompassing loneliness that only you alone can dispel.

I want you to love me as the bee loves its' hive - with fierceness and an almost gallant lack of self. I want you to love me as the earth loves the sun - to follow me wherever I may go and to know that without me  it would all be dark and  it would be better to burn than to live in the gloom that my absence would signify.

I want you to love me as you love me in my dreams - where you only need me and only look at me and only want me and are almost blown away by the fact that I even exist. I want you to realise that there is no possibility for a little love or going halfsies. I want your whole self to be consumed by me and for you to be a willing participant in this game. I want you to be unable to think of yourself without conceptualising me as well.

This sounds ridiculous, and it sounds insane. It is. I want you to love me enough to realise that self preservation has no meaning when you love me.  I want you to take that leap of faith, for I am falling down, eternally, till you jump and bouy my commitment with your agreement.